Food for Owls

Would You Be My Server?

• SOLLUX: whatd you forget?
• FEFERI: Got some time?
• SOLLUX: ii know you, youre--
• youre 2hiiveriing.
• FEFERI: It's not)(ing,
• Mom turned on t)(e Glub
• And I'm just a little
• Weak on my nubs
• Can I be your client?
• W)(at are you staring at? 38O
• SOLLUX: nothiing
• your haiir on the webcam
• you look famiiliiar
• can you make iit?
• FEFERI: Just got a lot going on today
• At least t)(e sky's stopped burning!
• Anyway.
• What?
• SOLLUX: nothiing
• your fang2 remiinded me of --
• FEFERI: I always remind people of -- w)(o is s)(e?
• SOLLUX: she diied, her name was AA.
• FEFERI: ...
• Mom's Glubbed again.
• Sorry about your friend
• Can I be your client?
• SOLLUX: well -- OW!
• oh, the Glub -- iim --
• FEFERI: Bleeding! I feel so bad about t)(e--
• SOLLUX: the lowblood2? ii am one.
• oh well. goodbye.
• ...
• you're 2tiill not iin the game?
• FEFERI: No -- I t)(ink I'm t)(e last one left.
• SOLLUX: ii gue22 iit fiigure2, iim ju2t iin tiime
• two 2ave the day whiile iim dyiing.
• let2 make your iitem.
• FEFERI: I'm sorry --
• I fed her when I woke up tonig)(t
• I was so s)(ore...
• ...
• Are you on t)(e floor?
• SOLLUX: uh...the floor?
• FEFERI: You seriously have the best lisp of all the land-dwellers 38D
• It's so CUT---E!
• SOLLUX: huh? ow...
• FEFERI: You're bleeding again.
• SOLLUX: oh 2hiit.
• i mean, yeah ii do -- have a liip2th --
• but liike -- you look famiiliiar...
• FEFERI: Like your dead girlfriend?
• SOLLUX: mo2tly iit2 the haiir, but iim 2ure iive 2een you 2omewhere el2e --
• FEFERI: Do you know Her Imperious Condesce?
• That's my Ancestor, She's a bitch--
• SOLLUX: ye2!
• ...2he liike2 two wiire u2 up...
• FEFERI: S)(e's a VILLAIN!
• SOLLUX: ii diidnt take you for
• a hemo2pectrum traiitor.
• FEFERI: I can be your client.
• Oh can't I be your client?
• SOLLUX: Why dont you piick up that card
• And 2tiick iit iin the 2lot?
• FEFERI: I'm trying -- but I'm worried about your face
• It's just sort of bleeding everyw)(ere!
• SOLLUX: iim u2ed two bleediing everywhere,
• iim 2orta achiing liike hell--
• FEFERI: You're getting Glubbed, I told you--
• SOLLUX: iim gonna diie
• FEFERI: You're pretty grim!
• SOLLUX: uh huh
• ii u2ed two giive a fuck
• FEFERI: But holy carp you're bleediing bad--
• SOLLUX: uh huh
• FEFERI: Find a towel!
• SOLLUX: here iit -- COUGH --
• FEFERI: W)(at's t)(at?
• SOLLUX: ...piiece of aiir2ac.
• FEFERI: We could go toget)(er.
• ...
• W)(at'd you make wit)( t)(at dowel-t)(ing?
• SOLLUX: That wa2 my la2t chance.
• FEFERI: I'm entering now.
• I'll find you as soon as you're in.
• SOLLUX: maybe death2 not 2o bad at all
• ii hear dead guy2 2creamiing iin my head.
• FEFERI: SO GRUMPY. SO GRUMPY!
• SOLLUX: cant feel my hand2...
• FEFERI: T)(ey're rig)(t t)(ere.
• )(ey, You want a date?
• SOLLUX: wiith you?
• FEFERI: Yea)(, if you s)(ower!
• SOLLUX: iim captor.
• FEFERI: T)(ey call me
• T)(ey call me F--EF-----ERI! 38D